Writings from my Van Gogh Moleskine

Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nightingale

February 27, 2010

When I wake from this dream, I know that what I have dreamed was too beautiful, too perfect to settle into the reality of my world and life which I dance through.

I peer out pass my curtains and see the violet dusk of twilight.

Oftentimes it seemed like I was near the seashore watching the sun setting, looking past the ocean to see what seems like a long-drawn fire across the sky with heaps of black, deep red and wisps of yellow and orange cracking, surrounding.

I touch the pane of my window, trace the imperfections and the tiny cracks etching through the lines, feeling the cold from the outside pouring into my fingers.

As I take in this scenery, a scenery I call my own, I think of you.

You, the one who never left my mind. You, the one that I think of every moment of my waking hour and when I breathe, when I close my eyes and let out the slow whisper of your name.

You, that appears whenever I glance at everything that penetrates of life, where I instantly feel your caress, your voice, your eyes gazing back intensely at me.

Too far have we gone and not see the light sink in. I often wonder how nothing ever seems to last and that we have all gone down that path before where we find ourselves glancing at the other side of the mirror, wondering how we arrived there in the first place.

When I look up, I see the tiny buds on the tree. I reach out and wrap my hand in its entirety, thinking if I held one part of the branch, I would somehow feel its pulse, its long drawn affair of life coursing through its veins, its sigh.

And when night falls, I think of our conversations. The one where even years afterward, it would still wound around my head. Because it was the kind that only came from you. Because you were the only thing that mattered to me in this world, in this lifetime.

I look up to the dark sky and see the bright glow of the moon, its light basking on my face.

I breathe in the scent of night air and it carries the promise of peace, of reflection, of dreams.

And when I lie on the grass, I think how much I wished I could have been the one who saved you. I wished so hard that it bit into the very portion of my heart.

And it was then that I remember.

I remember that morning when you called me darling and when you said that you loved me. How that word seeped into my skin, intoxicating me with that electrifying warmth, his everlasting warmth.

In return, I whispered back those eight final words which lasted for an eternity:

"I hope we can always feel this way."

(Note: images were from courtesy of Tumblr)

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Curiouser and Curiouser!

Alice: "If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?"

Bonjour all!

March 5 will be a very important day! And why you may ask?

One of my most adored childhood tales is being brought to life with the magic touch of Tim Burton's vision, Alice In Wonderland.

How I used to dream that one day I may fall into my own rabbit hole, and awake to a world quite unlike my realistic own.

So, not only will I watch the film on premiere day in 3D, but I have also picked up my invitation to a most spectacular event that very night: The Alice in Wonderland Fundraiser and Cocktail Night.

What a day this will be, a whole day filled with Alice in Wonderland.

I love what they did for the invitation!
The backside:

It would take place at the Hart House Music Hall (which is a perfect setting for this affair) in which formal attire and costumes are welcome... you know what this means- I shall definitely dress up, channelling the spirit of Alice and her enchanting world.

I already had something in mind with the dress which is ballerina-inspired and I found something to put in my hair (thanks to Anthropologie)!

What's great about this event is that it has a noteworthy cause tied to it. The event is raising money for Children's Literacy Canada. They would also be offering beautifully illustrated special edition Alice in Wonderland print sets of five iconic moments within the story, as well as t-shirts! I think I will pick both up as portions of the sales of the t-shirts and prints will be donated to Children's Literacy.

So not only would it be a whimsical and fun affair, but also doing something great for the love of reading as well. What could be more grand than that?
I know I won't be late for this very important date!

That's all for now, ciao!

The city and all its treasures v. 2

Never let life's hardships disturb you ... no one can avoid problems, not even saints or sages.

Nichiren Daishonen

On a grey and dirty Tuesday in February, I came about strolling with a friend the deep immensities of beauty Toronto beholds. There was almost a Victorian-like atmosphere with the way the sky looked and the places I went, as well as being abnormally warm where I took it to be a cold day.
Stopped for lunch at La Maquette (111 King Street East) where the view was simply lovely, overlooking the St. James Cathedral, one of the most historic beauty darlings within the city.
My curiosity as usual overwhelms me and it was after lunch I very much wished to take a step into the St. James Church.
I took it to be grand, but not as such a scale as I have expected. There is something about cathedrals or churches that seem to draw away every ounce of worry in one's mind where reflection and inner spirituality then, tides over.
Oh the intricate details among such a stature of immense stronghold of magnificence.
Seeing those candles made me want to close my eyes and usher a prayer: to behold the never-ending sights and senses and hope that they will never leave me.
It was then I came across the small park where I had once mentioned before this past summer titled "Glittering. Elegant. Intrigue. Seamless." What a different theme it now holds. This sense of barren abandonment, of dabs of loss and the feeling that you can't shake off those dark clouds that linger above you.

Putting away all such negative thoughts aside, I turned to more of precious things I would thus explore, often forbidden, but nonetheless explored by moi.

A glimpse of what the city looked like, the St. James Church holding down its fort amidst a Gothic scenario.
The St. Lawrence Hall. I cannot cease to exclaim how ever so glad that we continue to preserve and hold such buildings as these within the city. Of course, the modern high rises and skyscrapers are a wonder to behold in itself, but it does not surpass the classical structures of buildings as this one, when it comes to timeless pieces of architecture.

When entering the building, my heart gave a small leap as if I came across something blissfully wonderful to be held in store. As I went up the dark-red carpeted stairs, its as if I left the year 2010 behind and went back into the 1890's. I felt as if I were really in one of those BBC classics as Sense and Sensibility or Emma where the estates that they showed equaled this amount.


A view such as this one, made me feel that I was truly back in time.
Windows with white laced curtains, honestly have me another small bliss.

I came upon the second floor and stepped into a hallway, where doors opened into this wonderful small ballroom.

I honestly thought I stepped into the set of one of Jane Austen's novels, where Lizzie or Emma would arrive to such a place to hold a ball and meet their Mr. Darcy and Mr. Knightley's. I could not tell you just how immense my heart felt- it was such a rush of joy!

Even better, they still do it the old-fashioned way where all the lighting is used in gas lamps, so there were actual flames and not silly electric bulbs! By now I was bouncing.

As I slowly walked further into the room, taking this scenery all in, there stood a fireplace and a couple of chairs. Oh how I wish I brought a book and sat there, or I imagined I would paint or write, overlooking the scenery outside the window.


And how divine the light pouring through. I moved my face closer in its bathing warmth and closed my eyes, if but for a moment, absorbing this wonderful and magical place.
The view from the window. I could imagine how lovely it would be when the branches hold leaves, and summer echoes all around.
Turning around and out from the ballroom, I came across this room. Can you guess the next thing that I bounced for joy at?

An old grand piano! There is nothing that sets my heart aflame than finding a room with a piano.

I slowly let my fingers glide among the old keys, hitting a note or two to find that some were out of tune, but made me love it all the more.

I then sat down on the wooden bench, creased and scratched with age, and began to play a few simple pieces. The melodic notes and the graceful harmony of the music that rushed out into the air made me feel at ease. I knew that such a moment like this, was all it takes to know what it means to live life, to find that paradise.

Even the paintings along the walls were graced with such artworks as these. The windows portrayed such a view as this:
Eventually I left the grand piano's side and entered into another room once more, where it could easily suffice as a Reading Room or a Meeting Room of sorts. I was also quite fond of it as well.
A painting of what St. Lawrence Hall must have looked like back in the day.
Even the little details such as this, was simply wonderful.
There were more stairs to climb up and eventually another floor up or two, I came across... the Opera Atelier.
It was quite bustling with activity, a costume here and there, and the entire place was filled with music from Chopin.

Upon entering another room, there stood ballerinas practicing, stretching, and being graceful as always. I also had the opportunity to meet the stage director ,who was mightily helpful in telling about the programs coming up and little things of that sort. He was extremely kind and I was glad I had the chance to meet him.

And that's all for now, ciao!

(Note: these pictures were all taken by me, so if you wish to use one of them, feel free to contact me)

Love is...

And me, I still believe in paradise. But now at least I know it's not some place you can look for, cause it's not where you go. It's how you feel for a moment in your life when you're a part of something, and if you find that moment it lasts forever.

-The Beach

Truly this is a weekend of love, and what do I love?

~

Sunlight pouring through, kissing your face and bathing its glow throughout the entire room

Erin Fetherston

Dior and Chanel's Haute Couture SS 2010

Garden-inspired dresses

An American in Paris film

Balloons in the sky

Sitting under a big willow tree with a book in your lap... my grandmother used to have these two great willow trees in the front yard with a big swing underneath in her previous home and a small forest in the backyard... it was my escape to my own little world. I'll never forget those summer days I spent when I was a child there.

Jane Austen's works - i remember from somewhere that mentions how in her own life, she was not able to find her own happy ending, but that her characters in her novels she would give them that love and such beautiful endings that would make up her own.

Lace

Jasmine tea

Treehouses. My grandmother's neighbor had a huge one with a latch in the bottom of the room and slides, a bridge, and on the wooden front door, we painted "Our Club" on it. Adventures never ceased there.

Beautiful big open windows with white curtains being lifted from the breeze and the scent of lavender surrounds you on a summer's day

Bright Star

Going on a hot air balloon and having a picnic there

White chocolate

The English countryside

By the seaside in a white cottage

Painting with watercolors

Paris...

The sound of a cello against the melodic keys of the piano

Flowers in beautiful vases

When a guy has an accent...(it melts my heart, and I don't think I'm the only one who agrees)

Delicate perfume bottles (i've kept all of the ones I had)

Beautiful old journals

Old- fashioned feather pens with ink bottles

Walking along the boardwalk near the Harbourfront on a bright and clear day and watch ships sail by.

Letters.

Dancing badly (on my part). I get so blissfully giddy when I do that with someone I love.

Midnight chats with friends

Beautiful ballet-inspired dresses

Seashells and hanging them up with satin ribbons

Going to the art gallery and stand among the greats and their proof of the extraordinary.

So here you go, a glimpse of what I love, what are yours? I'd love to know!

Take care and that's all for now, ciao!

(Fashion pictures courtesy from style.com, remainder pictures from Tumblr)