Sunday, May 10, 2009

I woke up to find that I was in a glass castle...

Musique: the sound of his voice...

I have Dalinian thought: the one thing the world will never have enough of is the outrageous. Salvador Dali 

Today is Mother's Day... and the first thing I gave to my mother was big kisses on both cheeks and I squeezed her tight until I realized that i was slowly cutting off her circulation, haha.
 I thank my mum for her strength, her inspiration, her inner beauty, her ability to help me see outside the box, to make me a better person, to allow me to be as I am, that nothing is impossible, and that the fact that she gave me the privilege to live in this world, I will forever be grateful.

Yesterday was wonderful. Not only did I had the opportunity to drive around the city, I drove around my campus... never did I thought the various places where I would sit and walk by between classes, I would actually be driving by it! 
Despite the fact that its nerve-wracking to drive in the city, i managed to have a grand time doing that.... and with my uncle, we went to Yorkdale afterwards, which was more of a walking around sort of thing and ended up watching Star Trek at the end of the day- I thought it was great.
Kirk was hilarious at times, and Spock... let's just say I ended up having a minor crush on him (yes I'm guilty, I actually thought he was very interesting and secretly wished i was the one to kiss him instead of that other girl, haha)

Only three more days! I cannot believe how time quickly came around, it seemed like yesterday I was so impatient that there were weeks before I can move in to my maison d'été
I have almost everything packed in my fleur-de-lis luggage and my bags. Even now, I'm still thrilled to see what's in store for me.
 A new chapter on events/inspiration/reflections during the next three months. 
I mostly think of it as a small home away from home.

At this point in my life, I find myself yearning for things that when I had it, I seemed to lightly take for granted, and when I no longer have it, I think about it all the time and wish it can be in my arms once more. Certain moments missed in time, or possibilities shortened. This is no strange phenomenon, it happens to everyone at one point in time or another. 
Sometimes at the end of the day, as much as one can search for something more, I wish for my amiable companion. The deep haunting of a strange small sadness overwhelms and confines the mind into an interweaving torture which lingers like a soft daydream. We are lost along the way when we no longer know what we want, or when we choose to shut ourselves down from which deprives us from something we all breathe for and would chase after even in death: love.

Listening to Evanescence "Like You" the other day, and there was such a captivating embrace on the dark subject of a lost one. There was especially one part of the song which captured my attention with such an underlying awe:

I long to be like you 
Lie cold in the ground like you
There's room inside for two
And I'm not grieving for you

I'm coming for you 

For me, it illustrated a scenario where there was an old childhood friend, and he was everything to me and was my hero, my role model. I longed to be like him, his fearlessness and energy for life. Then an illness took away his spirit, his beautiful blue eyes, his beautiful soul. When he died, even being at a young age, all I wanted to do was follow after him and lie down on the grass while he was six feet below.
 We all have different takes on death. Some choose to avoid the topic as it hurts too much or causes too much suffering in one's mind, some openly talk about it as this next great stage of something grand. Others would be stuck in-between- where it doesn't bother them or they just never thought much about it. Personally, I have a curious approach. 
Nonetheless, there's this saying I heard that opened my eyes: "We're meant to lose the people we love... how else would we know how important they are to us?"
And this, I know.

And that's also all for now, bisous.


  1. Hi!!

    Thank you so much for your sweet comment on my blog! I totally appreciate it! :D

    Yeah don't you just LOVE Debussy's Clair de Lune! I will forever cherrish that song.

    I've had a look at your blog as well, and I think it's beautiful! I will definitely come back more often to take a look!



Thanks for brightening my day! Always love to hear what you have to say.


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